Something exciting!

I got a blog award! You guys have to go check out The (In)Fertility Diaries. It is an absolutely awesome blog. I read it as much as possible and love that it is real life. I love real life blogs!


The instructions that go along with this award are as follows:
* Thank the person who nominated you for this award.

* Copy the award and place it in your blog.

* Link the person who nominated you for this award.

* Tell us 7 interesting things about you.

* Nominate 7 bloggers.

* Post the links to the 7 bloggers you nominate.


Here are my 7 things-
1.) I am totally and completely addicted to the Gilmore Girls. I have seen every episode around 6 or 7 times.
2.) I have a small hair addiction. I was a hairdresser and am constantly looking at bad haircuts.
3.) I could (and do) watch a few movies over and over and over. Forgetting Sarah Marshall, 40 Year Old Virgin, Bewitched, Mean Girls, PS I Love You, Baby Mama, Juno, Bride Wars, Zack and Miri Make a Porno and Clueless.
4.) I love purses. Absolutely freakin love them.
5.) My favorite holiday is Halloween. I love the season, the colors, the cute witches and ghosts.
6.) Even though I live about 20 minutes from Churchill Downs, I have never been (and have no desire to go) to the Kentucky Derby.
7.) I like to believe that I have the kindest, most loving husband and son ever.

Now I am going to nominate 7 blogs that I am addicted to.

Our journey, but not our plan

Oops, I Craft My Pants

Welcoming Sea Monkey

Little Footprints

Cheryl Looking Forward

Steps to Baby

Creative Joy

The boring part of my cycle

I hate this point in the baby making cycle. I am 2 DPO so I still have a good 8 days until I can test and feel confident in the answer. I think i might play a game on this post. Let me go look at one of the other fun blogs to find something that is not absolutely boring (or maybe is).

ETA: Shot, I can't find anything. Anybody know a fun survey to take that might be interesting for my lovely readers?

I am sooooooooooooooooo happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A very, very, very sweet woman named Cheryl had the entire contents of my old blog in her google reader (whatever that is) and I love her forever and ever and ever for copying and pasting them for me. I love you Cheryl!!!!!!!

Fresh

Sometimes the pain of our loss seems so fresh, as if happened just yesterday and I am still trying to believe it. T told me about some good work friends that were pregnant. I have to admit, they didn't seem like kid people and I was jealous because it was them and not us. Yesterday he told me that they had miscarried and the wife had to have a D&C. It broke my heart. I just felt so sad for them. I know that hurt, that pain. I remember feeling like I couldn't breathe. I still feel that way some times. I remember in the days following the ultrasound just crying. Crying so much that my eyes were swollen almost shut. I remember not talking about it but still just bursting into tears. Worrying about what people would think, if they would look at me weird. I remember feeling like a bad wife because T was the one who had to tell everyone. I couldn't even bring myself to say it, because if I said it then it was real. I also remember after, wondering if T had been as sad as I was. Thinking that I should have been more supportive of him instead of only thinking of myself. He had hopes and dreams just like mine. Our baby already had a name. We had looked at bedding and furniture and narrowed our choices. I can't help but wonder if they are feeling the same way.

After T told me that I couldn't stop thinking about how little is done for you when you lose a baby. I told him about the woman in the ultrasound waiting room yesterday who was crying tyring to get in touch with her husband. She was alone there, pregnant and far enough so that you could tell. They found a bleed and it wasn't good. Yet there she was crying in the waiting room with everyone else just sitting there. Why is there not somewhere more private for situations like that? When T told me about this couple I wanted to give him a list of resources, things that could be found on-line to give to her. Then I thought that would be stupid and weird. I know that personally I would have loved to have found this community (The wonderful LFCA) earlier, when my loss was something that had just happened and I was paralyzed with sadness. I would love to do something in our community, try to get resources to hospitals and doctor's offices. Anything really, so that women have something, somewhere to go when they feel like there is nowhere.

Does anyone have any suggestions about how I might go about this? Possibly contacting the March of Dimes?

3 follicles

Hmmm. What does this mean for me? The ultrasound tech said two were at 14mm and one was at 13mm. She said that all 3 were dominant instead of last month just the 1. I am guessing this ups the chance of multiple which makes me and T want to crap our pants. But along with that it ups our odds of just the 1 as well. I should O Saturday or Sunday. I went ahead and scheduled myself an appointment on Tuesday with my GYN. I would like to speak to her face-to-face for a little follow-up and a Q&A session. I have a zillion questions and want to find out what her answers are. I know she is going to say we need that SA but that is not covered by our insurance and we can't afford it right now. Being broke and infertile is a bitch. Anyway, that is today's update.

PS - I just joined the ICLW today and have a few comments! Do I need to post a welcome for you guys? I have seen some other blogs who have done it so I was not sure

5 am

5 am seems to be my general wake-up time lately. I have never been a 5 am kinda girl. So why am I now? Really, I have no clue. I sure wish I wasn't because by the time we go lay down around 8:30 or 9 I can't even stay awake long enough to say anything. My head hits the pillow and I am out. It is really killing our sex life. Anymore it seems like the only time we ever "do it" is when we are FWP (fucking with purpose). Back when T had to get up around 5:45 I couldn't even drag myself out of bed to make him breakfast, now he gets up an hour later and he spends the last 2 hours in bed alone. This morning my body tried to fool me and make me think 3:45 is an acceptable time to wake-up for the day. Not so much. It took me about 20 minutes but I fought it and fought it hard. Pretty soon I am going to be one of those people who actually does stuff when they get up at 5. Currently I am the kind who sits on the computer.

In other news... I have a CD 14 ultrasound scheduled for Thursday. I have been having really bad pain on my right side, mostly in my back, so I am thinking that may be some ovulation pain. Hopefully I ovulate even earlier this month. I will probably be purchasing some OPKs and starting them tomorrow.

Question. What would you do if you got up at 5 every morning? What should I try to get done?

Happy, happy birthday, may all your dreams come true

Today Is T's Birthday. He is now the big 3-0! Happy Birthday to the greatest man alive. You are my everything (as corny and cheesy as that sounds). You are there no matter what, even if you don't know what to say or do sometimes, it is just the being there that helps. You are more than I could have ever hoped for and definitely more than I deserve. I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you. I hope that during our lives together I can make all of your dreams come true.