This is why people google dream interpretations

PREGNANCY!!!

I have been having lots of odd dreams about the baby. I never go full term in my dreams. The baby is either born at 28 weeks or 32 weeks but is completely healthy and can go home immediately. I dream of a little girl with dark hair and dark eyes just like T and she is absolutely beautiful! The dream I had a few nights ago she was born at 32 weeks and she was 15 pounds 7 ounces. What the eff!?!?!?!

I am pretty sure that these are all fears of mine and maybe my mind telling me that everything will be alright no matter what happens. I am terrified of early labor and the baby being in the NICU because it absolutely sucks and I don't want it to happen again. I would love, love, love a girl and even though my intuition is saying girl, I fear that it will be boy because I say I want a girl. Not that I don't want a boy too. Another sweet little cutie who loves his Momma like crazy! The huge baby thing, I know that is because this GD thing has me scared that our baby will be huge. We keep joking that Blaine will be sharing clothes with the baby it will be so big.

We will see our baby in less that 48 hours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

17 weeks, almost half.way.there.

We are sosososososososo clooooooosssssse to half-way there that I can taste it, lol. Literally. Because you better believe that I will be scarfing down sweets and carbs as soon as this kid gets out. We have our Level 2 ultrasound next Thursday at 17w6d. We are hoping that we can gind out the sex that day.

There was a small scare on Tuesday. I was having some pretty intense cramps and a few days before had a little mucousy blood. I called the OB and they said to get in right away. They did an ultrasound to check my cervical length and all that good stuff. Cervix looks great, no funneling so woohoo for that! We took a peek at the baby and it was so cute, it has grown so very much. We got a picture of it's head and torso and a little leg. The spine stood out so perfectly. Then we got a picture of and arm and hand. I love this kid!

Something that I hadn't really thought about happening was the jealousy that I still feel toward women who get pregnant so easily or on accident. I just can't help it. Atleast it's not towards people I know these days. Mostly the girls from high school who are 23 or 24 and on kid number 4. Fucking 4! Are you shitting me? Anyway. It's weird, kind of makes me feel odd.

The good: Little one is moving around. Not a ton, mostly just rolling around. We are super close to knowing the sex of the baby. We already have names all picked out!

The bad: As usual, constipation. I can't sleep on my stomach comfortabley. I have constant pelvic pain, I guess since things are spreading.

The ugly: My emotions are out of whack big time. Anything can make me wanna cry. We saw a dead dog on the road a few days ago. I teared up because it had a collar on and since it had a collar on that meant it was someone's pet and somebidy was gonna be so sad when they realized their doggy wasn't coming home. I'm crying a little now just thinking about it.

16 weeks. wow.

For some reason I can't believe I am 16 weeks, we are less than 2 weeks from having our Level II and hopefully finding out the sex. B is super excited about the baby and constantly thinking of it. He even wanted to rent it a movie at Blockbuster a few nights ago. I am sooooo excited!!!!

The good: My belly is getting bigger and harder. I feel the baby, in fact I just felt a big thump. I love it. it seems like I get flutters when T touches my belly, I think maybe becuase my heart starts beating faster or something, lol.

The bad: Constipation is back and with it has come cervical bleeding every now and then. Freaks. me. out.

The ugly: I am moody. Yes, still.

I've got it

Gestational Diabetes that is. Just waiting to get ahold of the Diabetic Counselor tomorrow for an appointment. Lucky me, I get to test my glucose 4 times a day and be on an awesome ass diet.

15 weeks

I went yesterday for my 3-hour test. Sooooo boring. I did read almost all of "Where the Heart Is" for the zillionth time during my 1 hour waits. I am super hopeful that I will know something today but they told me it may be Tuesday because of the holiday weekend. Even if I pass I still have to be on a "No concentrated sweets" diet for the remainder of the pregnancy. I am not looking forward to that, but whatever I have to do to keep the little one safe and keep me from giving birth to a 10 pounder.

The Good: We have our Level II in 3 weeks. YAY!!! I am feeling better, a lot better.

The Bad: Heartburn. Wow, I get it when I drink water or eat spicey food or somehting sweet or salty. I have it allllll the time.

The ugly: A few of my stretch marks are turning red again, which means they are starting to stretch and my belly is itching like crazy!

A few belly shots

Everything is starting to shift and lift and round out more. These are from today at 14wk 5d.

A big fat fucking fail...

I had my early Gestational Diabetes test yesterday. I totally expected to pass it. I was all cocky, assuming things were going to be perfect. I asked when I would hear back and she said 1-2 days and not at all if things were good.

Guess who got a call today?! Me. I had a voicemail and totally was hoping that maybe there was some sort of billing question or someone saying I needed to redo it because the lady messed up or something. Nope. Instead "Michelle" told me that my level was 156 and the cutoff is 135. Also not all to great since I had been fasting (not on purpose) and it was still that elevated. Now my Thursday morning will be spent having the 3 hour test done. I have to watch my sugar and carb intake until then.

I would love to say I can't believe I actually failed, but I can. I'm overweight and and technically had it with B's pregnancy but I had a shitty OB who didn't really care. I will keep you updated!