Monday, January 25, 2010

It Is a Job Sometimes

Noone ever told me that when you are TTC for a long eventually sex becomes a job (or at least you feel that way). I think I am ovulating today so we have been BDing (baby dancing) every night the past few nights and will continue to do so until we are sure that I did O. There are nights (or mornings or afternoons) when we know we have to do it and just aren't feeling it completely. But that could be the only chance we have to conceive, so we do it. When I feel like it is work, I just remember the fact that eventually we will get paid I know that to T this may actually sound bad, but it's not. There are never times when I feel like I don't have a choice, there are just times when I would rather be sleeping or when I know he isn't really feeling it.

I always thought that I would never let it get to the point where we were like "Ugh, we have to do it tonite." But all of you infertile myrtles know exactly what I am talking about here. Sometimes you are fighting, or sick or hurt and you sit and try to figure out what you are going to do to get the job done. You say to yourself, I may be completely stopped up and achy all over but it is happening tonite. He may be acting like a huge douche right now but I will get over it for a few minutes to (maybe) make a baby. His leg hurts, well shit, we will figure something out, a little pain is worth it.

You eventually get over trying to always make things fun and exciting. More than half of the time there is no foreplay aside from squirting some sperm-friendly lube in various places. I see things on other ladies blogs saying some of the same things. Never feel alone in your "I don't want to, but I have to" thoughts. Know we are all at some point lying there dreaming of a baby.

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